As humans we wired to connect, communicate and contribute; in-fact our survival depends upon it!  Belonging to a tribe of caring family and friends helps us to survive and ultimately thrive. Other people matter and so to do you.

Healthy relationships can be likened to a flourishing garden. Just as a garden blooms with fruit, fragrance and colour; we can also cultivate and grow healthy thriving friendships! 

The soil of a healthy friendship garden is made up of positive values.

A value has significant importance and when acted upon helps us to live and give our best.

The values of trust and respect are essential ingredients when growing healthy vibrant relationships.

If we wish to cultivate and grow friendships it is important to understand a few important truths about relationships.

This knowledge will help navigate the ups and downs common to all relationships. 

  • + Every friendship is different, dynamic and changing. Being able to adapt to these changes is important when making and maintaining relationships.
  • + Friendships, just like people are not perfect. 

Disagreements and conflicts happen in relationships and if we use the values of respect and trust we can seek pro-active and positive solutions. We all make mistakes and learning how to be a good friend and have good friends. Forgiveness and flexibility help us to keep tending to our friendship gardens; turning the soil, adding nutrients, water, mulching and replanting. If however, a friendship does not respect you or contribute to your wellbeing in a positive way it may be time for some serious weeding! 

If you want your friendship garden to flourish try these actions designed to build and boost healthy relationships by cultivating trust and respect;

  • + Shine a light on what is right:  Spot the strengths in your friends and family and amplify what they do well. This action will help them feel good and you will also receive a positive buzz.
  • + Show respect:  Lending your ears to a friend will let them know you care. Create a safe space to share enables friendships to blossom and grow.
  • + Speak up: Next time your friend shares exciting news try these positive phrases to celebrate their success.  “That’s awesome, congratulations!”,     “I am happy for you” and “Wow, that must feel fantastic!”
  • + Share: your stories of striving and success. Just as other people matter, so do you. Your voice deserves to be heard.

James Cummins is the founder of The Positivity Project.

When James is not catching waves on the central coast, he is juggling, drumming and presenting on positivity and wellbeing in schools throughout Australia!

‘Positive coaching’ in kids sport. ABC 92.5 FM radio segment Friday 27/7/18: 8:30 am.

In this blog post I lay out my thinking as I prepare for a local ABC 92.5 FM radio segment.

‘Positive coaching’ in kids sport. ABC local ABC 92.5 FM radio segment Friday 27/7/18: 8:30 am.

About James:

James Cummins is an Accredited Exercise Physiologist, sports coach and founder of The Positivity Project. 

He designs and delivers positive education and wellbeing presentations and programs to whole school communities & sports teams.

He works with The READClinic & has been coaching school boy rugby for over 20 years and practices ‘Positive Coaching’! 

With Saturday sport looming, today we will be discussing ‘Positive Coaching’ & the 

NSW Sport & Rec initiative designed to improve positive behaviour by parents, spectators and coaches involved in kids sports #Shooshforkids.

But first What is positive coaching?

It is a style of coaching where ‘wellbeing’ is at the heart of everything we do. We promote the process and practice of nourishing kids through sport. 

James uses positive psychology principles of enabling wellbeing, mindfulness, character strength spotting, positive communication & focus on process not outcome to set up a nurturing environment for kids and older athletes to enjoy, play and & learn.

To be totally awesome it requires teams, coaches, parents and supporters to participate. 

Maybe this is the key to effective & positive support of sport.

The key is spectator participation in a positive way. 

How does James practice Positive Coaching?

1. First things first! 

Set the intention with mindfulness. I practice this and as a coach, I can teach and role model it with authenticity. This way I am mindful in my thought, movements and actions. 

2. Be mindful as to ‘why’ you coach. Understand your ‘why’, your motivation behind your desire to coach. Self awareness and understanding as a coach is crucial for awesome coaching, driving your enthusiasm and energy on your coaching journey.

3. Investigate the ‘how’ and ‘what’ you coach.  Understanding the game, philosophy, skills, moves, attitudes and rules are important.

4. Communicate a positive manner, to all members of the sporting family. (Players, coaches, administrators, family & spectators).

5. Reflection is an awesome skill and tool to enable positive coaching. Setting time to think and sit with your experiences as a coach will enable better coaching in the future. The use of video with sound is a top tool to enable improvements in coaches and players. Use a coaches journal to record your reflections, this kinaesthetic link between thinking and writing unleashes learning, problem solving and celebrating coaching process wins.


  1. Mindfulness 
  2. Connection
  3. Spot strengths in kids and parents 
  4. Positive Communication 
  5. Keep it simple & reflect 

Benefits of Positive Coaching:

Everyone  (sports family: players, parents, supporters and coaches) can thrive! 

What is Shoosh for kids?

NSW sport & rec initiative designed to improve positive behaviour by parents, spectators and coaches involved in kids sports

Shoosh for kids is a NSW sport and rec initiative aimed at promoting positive behaviour at kids sports.

It targets five broad points to help promote positive behaviour in kids sport:

  1. If your comment is negative, then SHOOSH!
  2. If your negative comment is directed at a child, then SHOOSH!
  3. If your negative comment is directed at an official, then SHOOSH!
  4. Reward good work with applause; if you can’t then SHOOSH!
  5. Show respect to kids and officials. Remember, sport should be fun!

Why do we need this? 

The shadow side of passionate parents, supporters and coaches is too much pressure and unrealistic expectations on kids playing sport.

If the reason why kids play sport is ‘fun’ then this has t be supported on and off the sports arena.

Kids sport ( and all sport) provides so many positive opportunities such as ‘having fun’, social connections (belonging through a tribe), making friends, improving communication and decision making skills, learning new skills, skill mastery, performing and becoming fitter and stronger. 

To enable kids who want to keep playing sport, positive behaviour by parents, supporters and coaches will enable this. 

With the  #shooshforkids initiative and the rising wave if ‘positive coaching’ principles we can all love our Saturday sport!


Junior sport: Forget about winning, just let the kids play – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)


Coaching children : Participating in Sport : Australian Sports Commission

 Visible wellbeing! Can you kick it?

Question: Where does wellbeing start?

Answer: It starts with me and it starts with you.

It commences with the intentional thought to model or share wellbeing and then this can transform into acts of wellbeing.

Where does wellbeing start at School? It starts with the educator and are we not all we educators?

We all play a role in teaching, leading, coaching, role modeling and providing and examples to our children and the people we meet.

Visible wellbeing at school starts at the school gate or the school crossing. It is visible with a genuine greeting, soft eye contact, a smile, a chat or a warm hand or acknowledgement.

My heart warms when I see a teacher make wellbeing visible with their warm, calm and interested acknowledgement of their student.

Wellbeing is in our visible actions to generate safety and security. We can be responsible for kicking off wellbeing and it can be passed back or played forward. The reciprocal nature of wellbeing is awe-inspiring!

 We can all be the change we want to see.

 I challenge you to set the intention and act upon the wellbeing basics of a generous greeting and cultivate human connections one smile at a time.

Can you kick it?

Yes you can!